Navigating Relationship Challenges on Summer Trips
When we imagine summer vacations with our partner, we may envision sunsets by the lake, laughter over ice cream cones, and lazy mornings without an alarm. But for many couples, that dream getaway can quickly turn into a minefield of annoyances, disagreements, or big blowouts.
If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. In Canada, August is peak vacation season — kids are out of school, workplaces tend to be a bit quieter, and the warm weather feels like an open invitation to hit the road or the beach. However, the extra togetherness, financial costs, and change in routine can bring underlying relationship tensions to the surface.
Let’s explore why summer trips can be tricky for couples, common pitfalls to watch for, and easy-to-use strategies to prevent your getaway from turning into a getaway-from-each-other.
Vacations are meant to be relaxing — so why do they sometimes have the opposite effect?
1. Different Definitions of “Vacation”
One partner may wish to see every sightseeing opportunity, while the other looks forward to sleeping in and lounging by the water.
2. Many hours of togetherness
During day-to-day life, couples naturally have breaks from each other. These may include work, errands, hobbies, and time with friends. On vacation, you may find yourself together constantly, which can highlight quirks or habits that you usually overlook.
3. Money Stress
The cost of vacations can quickly add up. Flights, gas prices, and summer accommodation rates are often high in July and August. If you and your partner have different spending habits, this can create tension before you even leave.
4. Logistics
Flight delays, weather changes, and kids needing snacks every 10 minutes — travel often requires quick problem-solving and a lot of patience. If stress levels rise, old communication patterns (good or bad) tend to resurface.
How to Protect Your Relationship on Summer Trips
1. Have a Pre-Trip Conversation
Before you leave, sit down and talk through expectations and wishes.
Ask each other what you hope to get from the trip: Relaxation? Adventure? Time with family? Alone time together?
Budget boundaries: Decide ahead of time what your budget is for spending on food, activities, and souvenirs.
Personal space needs: It’s okay to plan moments apart — a morning walk alone or a solo swim can keep you both refreshed. Have a plan to help support each other if this is needed
Therapist Tip: Use “I” statements to share preferences instead of you statements
Ex: “I’d love to have one day lounging by the beach,” instead of “You never want to slow down.”
2. Check in Daily
Take 10 minutes at the end of each day to share what you enjoyed and what you’d like to adjust for tomorrow. Come from a place of gratitude and gratefulness. This keeps resentment from silently building and allows you to make small course corrections.
3. Be Flexible
Vacations are unpredictable. Weather changes, places close early, and GPS takes you the wrong way. Practice letting go of “perfect” and focusing on what’s still possible in the moment.
4. Couple Time
Try to make time for you and your partner to have time for just the two of you — even if it is a short walk or a morning coffee together.
5. Post-Vacation Transition
Plan a day at home before jumping back into work or school. This helps you re-enter daily life without feeling like you need a vacation from your vacation.
When Vacation Tension Signals Deeper Issues
If vacation disagreements feel like they’re part of a bigger, ongoing pattern — such as constant communication breakdowns, resentment, or lack of intimacy — it may be a sign that your relationship could benefit from extra support.
Therapy can help couples:
Learn conflict resolution skills.
Better understand each other’s needs and love languages, and feel connected again.
Build resilience for handling stressful situations together
Reach out today to book a session with one of our couples counsellors and start your journey toward a healthier, happier connection.
A summer trip can be a beautiful opportunity to make memories, deepen your bond, and step away from the usual grind — but only if both partners feel seen, heard, and respected in the process.
By setting expectations, practicing flexibility, and keeping connection at the heart of your plans, you can ensure your getaway is more about love than logistics.
